i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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