He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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