The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
