Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
