Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
