the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to make out with him forever
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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