I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize