just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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