Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
