kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
