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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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• (561): View more from Florida

  he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  you for real need to get over him dude

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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• (206): View more from Washington

  i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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• (408): View more from California

  My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.

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