fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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