god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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