Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize