I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
