I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
