If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
