I just saw a hot homeless man
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
