I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
