Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
