Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
