There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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