I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
