I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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