at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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