you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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