Your dad touched me again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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