Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
