I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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