I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
