Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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