i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
