he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
