I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
