apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
