yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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