All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
