so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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