problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
