just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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