she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
