sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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