Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
