just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
