I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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