Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
