i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
