dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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