can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize