Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
