Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
