we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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