haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
