therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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