You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
