i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
