i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
