I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
