She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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