Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
