Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize