The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
