You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
