im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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