i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
