It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
