this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
