The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
