Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I deserve this hangover.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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